


Regret, Redemption, and the Space In Between

by Set_Suna



Series: Pogtopia Breakdown [13]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Big Brother Techno, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Family Dynamics, Fatherly Guilt, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Manipulation, Mentioned manipulation, No Beta We Die Like Wilbur in Skyblockle, Panic Attacks, Sickfic, Tommy cries, Trauma, a lot of frustrated yelling, mentioned mental instability, no one's taking Dream's shit, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28208640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Set_Suna/pseuds/Set_Suna
Summary: Phil thought he was doing okay. It was naive of him to think so, he knew, but that didn't stop him from thinking it. He'd known it for a while now. He wasn't okay, but he could act like he was pretty well. He could talk with Tubbo and Techno and pretend everything was alright. He could spend time with Fundy and teach him to fish and think of it as a day well spent. He could deflect and redirect his attention all he wanted. It didn't stop certain thoughts from rising and lingering in his mind.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Pogtopia Breakdown [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986469
Comments: 40
Kudos: 539
Collections: SBI Family Feels





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my GOD fellas. Writing this was a rollercoaster and god bless The Writer's Block for helping me get this right. I dedicate this to everyone in that server ily all very much. Now, here's the first part of the long awaited Philza Minecraft POV.

Phil thought he was doing okay. It was naive of him to think so, he knew, but that didn't stop him from thinking it. He'd known it for a while now. He wasn't okay, but he could act like he was pretty well. He could talk with Tubbo and Techno and pretend everything was alright. He could spend time with Fundy and teach him to fish and think of it as a day well spent. He could deflect and redirect his attention all he wanted. It didn't stop certain thoughts from rising and lingering in his mind.

He could laugh and smile sadly with Ghostbur. He couldn't forget Wilbur. He couldn't forget his son, standing on the edge of destruction--his great unfinished symphony--begging Phil to kill him. He couldn't forget how greatly he'd failed his eldest son. 

He could visit Tommy. He could see him and see in turn the watchful eye Dream kept on him. He could see the careful way Dream dropped details and lied to his youngest son's face with ease. He could pick up on the sly things Dream was doing that Tommy couldn't. He couldn't ignore how he'd done nothing. He couldn't ignore how it was too late to do anything. He couldn't ignore how he'd failed his youngest son. 

He spent a lot of time with Techno. His middle son was safe. His middle son was smart, good with any weapon you put in his hands, and stuck to his beliefs. Staying with Techno was easy. He couldn't ignore how much he'd ignored the needs of his other sons. 

His family had needed him, and he'd failed them horribly.

Spotting Ranboo outside Techno's home, pushing through a snowstorm with Tommy on his back and Ghostbur at his side, Phil truly knew how badly he'd fucked up. Seeing how sickly and weak Tommy was crushed his heart and ground his last bit of pride to sand. That blade was dull, ready to be melted down and turned to scrap. He was a _horrible_ father. He had the shame to admit at least that much. He wasn't at his sons' sides when they needed him most. He hadn't given them the support they so desperately needed. 

Phil always felt the blood on his hands. He could always see Wil's blood on his hands. He always remembered how it felt to hold his dying son in his arms, a sword hilt he'd driven there jabbing into his stomach. Each day he scrubbed his hands with the hope and intent that _some day_ the guilt would wash away. Some days were harder than others. Some days he scrubbed hard enough that his skin cracked and bled. 

Today was one of the worst days. It was definitely the rudest awakening. Having to take care of Tommy when he was too sick to stand felt terrible. He visited Tommy in exile briefly before. He should've gone more. He should've gotten Tommy out of there. He could have given his son a home and he _didn't_. He-

The floor creaked behind him. His eyes flew open, snapping out of his thoughts. He was sat in a plush armchair in the living room, listening to the crackle of fire in the fireplace. When he turned to see who was there, he wasn't sure he expected Ranboo. 

He looked tired. Extremely so. There were small bags under his eyes and his hair was a tangled mess, like hands had been continuously run through it. The sweater and sweatpants Phil'd stolen from Techno's wardrobe to replace his drenched clothes were too short for his long limbs. His fingers were dug into the sleeves. His face was an odd mixture of uncertain and determined. He reminded Phil of Tommy. 

Standing in the hallway, exhausted and unsure, Ranboo looked small. He looked like Tommy when he was asleep. Having seen the two teens side by side, joking back and forth confidently like it was second nature, Phil understood how wrong this was. 

"Oh, hey," Ranboo greeted quietly, looking like he wasn't expecting to be noticed.

"Hey, Ranboo," Phil said softly. He stood from his chair, turning around it and resting a hand on top of the back. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I, uh," Ranboo stuttered, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and took a breath. When he opened them, he was sure of himself. "Can I talk to you? Somewhere private?" 

Phil's hand clenched against the top of the chair. "Of course, c'mon." 

He stepped past Ranboo to lead him back down the hall and felt his stomach drop. Ranboo's new composure made the atmosphere feel different. Phil could easily notice the change. He didn't know what he was about to walk into, but he could tell this was a conversation that needed to happen. Whether that be for him or Ranboo, he didn't know. 

He opened the door to Techno's office, letting Ranboo enter first and closing the door behind him. Usually, Techno would be here working late into the night, but tonight he was busy in the basement, preparing potions and the like for any incoming threats. He leaned against Techno's desk and crossed his arms casually. 

"So, what did you want to talk about?" he asked patiently. 

"It's... It's about Tommy," Ranboo started, and Phil felt his heart constrict in his chest. "You realize how bad things have gotten, right?" 

"Yeah, I-I do. Today has been... a slap to the face, to the say the least," Phil answered, laughing uncomfortably. 

Ranboo, whose hands had been clasped in front of him, allowed his hands to drop to his sides. "Tommy's your son, right?"

The question cut Phil to his core. 

"Why didn't you do anything? I know you visited him once, but why nothing past that? Dream... messed with his head. He's treating him like he's his only friend, when he's the one who got him exiled in the first place. You realize how messed up that is, right?" Ranboo continued, voice slowly getting more heated. 

"I do, Ranboo," Phil admitted quietly. 

"Dream made Tommy give up his armor and weapons each day and he blew them up with TNT. Dream intercepted my letters to him to make him think I didn't care about him anymore. He stopped Wilbur from delivering the party invitations to deepen this fake-hatred everyone apparently has for Tommy," Ranboo stated. He was gradually stepping closer, talking more with his hands and his face scrunching up with constrained emotion. "Tommy's a _wreck,_ Phil, you have to understand that. He's not safe. Not alone and definitely not with Dream around. I watched him stare into the lava sea at the bottom of the nether with a lot more longing than anyone should. He-He keeps talking about how 'he's not gonna be here for much longer'. It's not okay, Phil! None of this is!" 

Phil watched as Ranboo tugged on his hair briefly and made a noise of frustration. He spun on his heel and started to walk back across the room. He must have been holding this in for so long, waiting for someone who would listen. Phil felt the guilt in his heart increase exponentially. 

"It's like everyone's fine with the way things are! Nothing is fine! It's like as soon as Dream said the word, everyone forgot Tommy existed! People visited him, but no one cared! No one cared to notice how Dream was manipulating him!" Ranboo turned suddenly. He moved so fast it was like he teleported, and his finger was shoved into Phil's chest. "You're his dad, Phil. Tommy is your _son._ You're supposed to be the one taking care of him. He shouldn't be on the verge of... of taking his own life!" 

Phil's heart hurt. Everything Ranboo was saying was true. He knew it was. Phil had convinced himself into thinking it would be okay, even though he knew it never had the chance to be. And while it all made Phil feel terrible and want to scream about how _shit_ of a father he was, he couldn't. Ranboo was getting too worked up, his breathing was getting short and he was gripping his arms with his shaking hands. He knew Ranboo had to get this all off his chest, but he had to make sure he didn't do self-destructively. 

"I know, Ranboo, I haven't done enough. I don't know if I'll ever make it up, but I think you need to take a breath-" Phil tried to cut in. 

"No, no one's done enough! Phil, Tommy-Tommy thinks Tubbo hates him. Tommy doesn't think _Tubbo_ cares about him. He's come to rely on Dream so much just for some-" Ranboo clamped his mouth shut, reaching up to pull roughly at his hair before continuing. "-some _freaking_ human contact! Even if it's horrible for him! We've left him alone with the monster whose crushing his will to keep going and it's wrong! It's wrong Phil and I-and I can't do anything to help him, so please, please, for the love of god, help me help him!" 

Phil felt the exact moment his heart cracked in half. A burst of frustrated red and green tears pushed from Ranboo's eyes. His voice was lost to a stuttering intake of breath and Phil knew he wouldn't be able to keep going. He pushed himself off the desk and quickly moved to pry Ranboo's fingers out of his hair. He gripped his hands tightly, ignoring the small claws digging into his skin. 

"Can you do something for me, Ranboo? Can you breathe in? I need you to breathe in for four seconds, okay?" Phil asked calmly, despite the rapid beating of his heart. Ranboo nodded, and it took a few tries, but he eventually was able to breathe in steadily. "Good, now hold it for seven seconds." He felt the teen's hands squeeze his. His entire body was shaking, but he did as Phil asked. "And exhale for eight." As he followed through, Phil started to guide him towards the desk. "That's good, Ranboo. Now, can you do that again? Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, release for eight." 

Phil carefully sat Ranboo down in the chair as he breathed. He kept a hold on the boy's hands, willing to have a few scratches if it stopped him doing harm to himself. He continued to mumble encouragement, not forgetting what was all just said. It needed acknowledging, as soon as Ranboo was calmed down.

The tension slowly began to release from Ranboo's shoulders. As his breathing evened out, his grip on Phil's hands became less life-fearing and more thankful and apologetic. Phil waited until Ranboo was ready to talk. 

"I'm-I'm just scared," Ranboo admitted shakily. "What if-What if he actually did it, y'know? What if Dream's influence just got so bad he couldn't take it anymore?"

"I know, I know it's scary," Phil soothed gently, running his thumbs over the back of Ranboo's hands. "I know that I've... that I've fucked up beyond repair. There's so much more I could've done but I ignored it. I ignored it because I was scared of messing up like I did with Wil. But this is just me making the same mistake. I know I need to take care of my son, and I'm going to do so, Ranboo, I promise. I won't let him do anything reckless or even be in the same room as Dream ever again." 

Ranboo nodded, looking like he was holding back another wave of tears. He managed a mangled, "Thank you." 

Phil released one of Ranboo's hands to rub the boy's shoulder. "It's alright. But thank you, Ranboo. You're the one who talked some sense into me. I'm going to be the father my son needs, and I'm going to help him." 

He nodded again, wiping at the tear stains trailing from his eyes. Phil sat with him, waiting to hear what he wanted to do.

Phil knew he needed to be a father. He couldn't keep sweeping the hard situations under the rug. He couldn't just believe that Tommy would be okay and that would magically make things better. These things were dirty. These situations were gritty and messy and required that you dig in deep with your hands, they required you to break a few nails and not wait for them to heal, because the issue needed dealing with sooner rather than later. You couldn't let this weed's roots spread and take hold. You needed to uproot it as soon as possible. Dream had taken a firm hold of his son. Phil was going to have to do a lot of digging to make sure Tommy would be okay again. 

But he was ready now. Ranboo's breaking voice and words of anger and concern made the level of urgency clear. Phil had a long list of things he needed to do. He couldn't wait for life to start getting better any longer. He needed to do it himself. 

He needed to talk to Techno.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've been a shit father, for all three of you," Phil said guiltily. He couldn't meet Techno's eyes when he quickly spun around. "I didn't try to help Wil until it was too late. I was too scared to even try with Tommy. I was never here to give you the advice you needed. I've been absent for far too long, and all it's done is hurt you boys."
> 
> "Phil, wait-" Techno started falteringly, stepping forward slightly. 
> 
> "Don't try to comfort me, Techno. It's not what I deserve." Phil swallowed the urge to cry out. To scream and howl about his own disappointment in himself. "You can tell me all that when I'm finally your father again. Once I've tried."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm this might be one of the most dramatic things I've ever written. But also it has some lines I am very proud of djsk

Phil's mind was racing. Guilt, hatred, rage, and fear made an unpleasant cocktail in his gut. He had left Ranboo with Tommy. His youngest was still asleep, fighting an illness Phil couldn't help until he woke up. Ranboo was still shaken, but promised Phil he'd be okay on his own. Plus, he didn't want to leave Tommy alone. Phil trusted him and left, going to the basement to find his middle son.

Techno was where Phil expected him to be. He was hunched over his brewing station, staring intensely at a set of bubbling health potions. Phil knocked on the door frame to announce himself, walking into the room when he got a grunt as a response. He placed a hand on Techno's shoulder, leaning over him to look at the book laying open before him.

"Are you almost done?" Phil asked, scanning the checklist in the pages.

"Almost," Techno answered grimly. 

Phil noticed an extra batch of health potions scribbled onto the end of the list. The only thing left unchecked. 

"We need to talk, Techno," Phil stated. 

Techno let that hang in the air before answering. "About what?" 

"About Tommy. About Wil. About me." 

"...Yeah, I guess we do." 

Phil dragged a chair closer and sat down beside Techno. Gathering his thoughts for a moment, Phil watched the potions brewing. He had a sneaking suspicion his second heart to heart of the night would go better than the first. 

"We have to help Tommy, here. You-You've seen how much this whole thing has hurt him, yeah?" Phil began. 

Techno nodded stiffly. "Yeah." 

"I can't keep waiting for things to suddenly get better, I have to make an effort. I didn't want to fuck up like... like I did with Wil. I was so worried that if I intervened, it'd all go wrong again. But this outcome is worse than anything that could've happened because of me," Phil explained, clasping his hands together tightly. "Dream has manipulated him. He's conditioned Tommy to idolize him, in a way. He's trying to make sure no one will stand up to him ever again, and now, I don't think I can allow that."

The potions had stopped bubbling. Techno stood suddenly from his chair, the scrape of wood against stone hurting Phil's ears. He scooped up the potions with one hand and brought them to a chest across the room. He set two inside it carefully and held the other tightly in his hand. 

"Tommy hated me for spawning those withers in L'manberg," Techno said quietly. "I stayed away because he didn't want me around. Even if he still hates me now, I can't let this slide." 

"I've been a shit father, for all three of you," Phil said guiltily. He couldn't meet Techno's eyes when he quickly spun around. "I didn't try to help Wil until it was too late. I was too scared to even try with Tommy. I was never here to give you the advice you needed. I've been absent for far too long, and all it's done is hurt you boys."

"Phil, wait-" Techno started falteringly, stepping forward slightly. 

"Don't try to comfort me, Techno. It's not what I deserve." Phil swallowed the urge to cry out. To scream and howl about his own disappointment in himself. "You can tell me all that when I'm finally your father again. Once I've tried." 

Techno stopped. He let his arms fall to his sides and nodded. Phil releases a shaky breath and looked up, meeting his son's eyes for the first time in a while. 

"We can't let Tommy get any worse. We have to let him know how much we care," Phil said, on the edge of desperate. He swallowed and continued quietly, "Ranboo told me he-he almost..." 

Phil's voice stopped working. He hung his head and held it in his hands. Techno sat back down next to him. He saw his hand reach out--and saw it stop. He glanced up to see Techno's expression stiffen. His ears twitched, and Phil sat up fully. He listened carefully as Techno looked upwards. He heard Carl huff anxiously outside.

"Someone's here," Techno said darkly, standing and leaving the potion on the table. 

Phil followed after him, feeling his stomach drop as Techno grabbed his sword from its place leaning against the wall. Techno pushed open the doors leading outside and stepped out into the snow. It wasn't storming anymore, there were only a few gentle flakes falling from the sky. Phil's heart nearly stopped beating in his chest when he saw what Techno did. The only reason it didn't was because it was filled with an unyielding rage. 

Dream walked slowly towards them. The stark white of his mask and the green from his hoodie made him visible in the dark night. How he found out where they were, Phil would never know. And he'd never find it in himself to care. He stepped in front of the stairs leading up to the house. Techno stood at his side, sword gripped tightly and shown visibly. Dream stopped, barely five feet away from them.

"What do you want?" Techno asked coldly. 

"We've come across a little problem," Dream answered. "Tommy's missing from his place in exile. I was wondering if you happened to know where he would be." 

"Even if we did, we wouldn't tell you," Phil spat. 

"You don't have to try and hide it from me, Phil, I already know he's here," Dream waved off Phil's statement. 

"How?" Techno asked, a growl creeping into his voice.

"Everyone's favorite neighborhood ghost told me. All I had to do was ask," Dream answered, and Phil could hear the coy smile behind his mask. 

"You're not getting him," Phil warned. 

"I think we could come to an agreement here-" Dream started, though he stopped when he was kindly interrupted by Techno's sword at his throat.

"Don't you _dare_ act like you have rights to Tommy," Techno threatened, voice low. 

"He's a threat as long as he's alive, to me and to everyone around him," Dream said, acid on his tongue. 

"He's my son," Phil said at the same time Techno growled, "He's my brother."

The silence that followed was filled with empty noise. Carl huffed again, uneasy with the atmosphere. The wind hollowed across the arctic tundra. Gentle snow was dusting their heads. 

"You don't want to make an enemy of me, Techno," Dream warned. "I thought we could be allies, here."

"That chance ended as soon as you threatened Tommy's life," Techno answered.

Phil heard the door open behind him and froze. He turned quickly, feeling his throat close at what he saw. Tommy stood in the doorway, eyes wide in shock. He was still very much sick, Phil could tell, from the way his legs shook and delirious look in his eyes. He held all his weight up on the door handle, and he was staring over Phil and Techno to look directly at Dream. 

"Dream?" he questioned weakly. "What-What are you doing here?" 

"Hey, Tommy," Dream replied, cold accusation gone and replaced with the thick, warm tone of someone happy to see a close friend. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I was worried when I saw you weren't in Logstead. I'm lucky I was able to find you." 

"Stop it," Techno warned coldly, thrusting the tip of his sword closer to Dream's throat. He hadn't moved from his position. He hadn't even flinched when he heard Tommy's voice. 

"Wait, Tech-" Tommy interrupted, trying to push himself off the door but only falling to his knees. Phil was halfway up the steps when Ranboo spilled out the door.

"Christ, Tommy, you scared me," he muttered, hurrying to help Tommy to his feet. 

"Oh, so you're housing two runaways?" Dream questioned, leaning to the side to gaze around Techno.

Ranboo tensed, hearing Dream's voice, but curled himself a bit more defensively around Tommy. Tommy just looked confused, glancing back and forth between Ranboo and Dream. 

"Wh-What do you mean?" Tommy asked. "What's going on?" 

"Don't worry about it. It's time to go back to Logstead, Tommy," Dream said cooly, offering a hand towards Tommy.

Phil saw red.

"Ranboo, get Tommy back inside," he ordered quietly, trying not to let his anger spill over. 

"A-Alright," Ranboo nodded. He looped his arm around Tommy's waist and started to lead him back inside. Phil was internally grateful that Tommy didn't resist. He looked too shaken to understand what any of this really meant. 

Phil looked back as soon as the door was shut behind them. Techno kicked Dream's stomach the instant the door clanked shut, knocking him to the ground. He planted a foot on his chest and stabbed his sword in the ground beside Dream's neck. 

Techno leaned over him, words dripping hatred and seething rage, "I swear to the gods and the earth and every single star in the sky, if you ever try to harm my family again, you won't live to regret it." Techno pulled his sword from the ground and stood up straight. He stepped back off of Dream's chest and snarled, "Now get off my property. You're scaring my horse." 

Dream slowly got to his feet, brushing snow from his armor. Techno's glare could kill. Dream raised his hands in compliance and took a few steps back.

"Fine. I'll go. But you've just made a big mistake, Techno," Dream said, turning and heading back the way he came.

"I think I can handle it," Techno snapped.

They stood silent in the cold night, watching Dream as he disappeared on the horizon. Phil waited until Techno turned towards him to finish climbing the stairs. Phil beelined it for Tommy's room, knowing Techno wouldn't rest until he took all the necessary safety precautions. He needed to see Tommy. He needed to let him know things would be ok. 

The door was left open slightly, and Phil could hear soft talking from inside. He slowly pushed open the door to see both boys sitting atop the bed. Ranboo had a firm grip on Tommy's hands, talking quietly with him in an attempt to calm him down. Tommy's head snapped up when he heard Phil enter. He leaned forward, looking scared and small and so unlike the Tommy Phil was used to.

"Phil-Phil what's going on?" Tommy asked quickly. "Why's Dream here?" 

"It's ok Tommy, he's gone," Phil told him, crossing the room to stand at the bedside. "He won't be coming back for a while."

Tommy looked crestfallen. "Why not?" 

Phil felt his stomach twist. Ranboo looked physically pained. Tommy just looked lost. 

"Dream's not your friend, Tommy. He never has been," Ranboo told him, trying to make some kind of breakthrough. 

"I-I don't... I don't understand," Tommy stuttered helplessly. 

Phil swallowed. His first obstacle was here. He put a hand on Ranboo's shoulder and muttered, "Go help Techno secure the house. I'll do this part."

Ranboo looked hesitant to leave, but nodded and did as Phil asked. He closed the door behind him, and Phil couldn't be more grateful. 

"Phil, I really don't know what's going. Every time we start talking about Dream my-my brain gets all fuzzy and-" Tommy said, mouth racing a mile a minute and his whole body shaking from the effort.

"It's okay, Tommy. I'll explain everything, but can you lay down first? You're still sick, I don't want you to get too worked up," Phil asked placatingly. 

Tommy took in his words and nodded slowly. Phil helped him get in bed, pulling back the covers before tucking them back in. He climbed onto the bed beside Tommy. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and let him rest his head against his chest. 

Tommy's hand gripped his sweater weakly. "What's wrong with me, Phil?" 

"None of this is your fault, Toms. I want to start there. What's happening right now is not because of you," Phil insisted, tracing a finger across Tommy's forehead and pushing the hair from his eyes. "If I tell you why things are so weird for you, do you think you can follow along? Is your head clear enough to focus and listen?" 

Tommy was silent for a moment, but nodded. He said, "Just... go slow. Please." 

"I will," Phil promised. 

And he began.

"Dream exiled you to break you down. You've always fought against Dream, right?" Phil waited for Tommy to nod before continuing. "He doesn't like that. He wants control. He couldn't control you. He visited you nearly everyday in exile, but that wasn't to be your friend, Toms. He was watching you to make sure you didn't do anything to fight back."

Tommy's face went blank. Phil watched his expression shift from nothing to hurt to horrified in quick succession. He sat up quickly, and Phil followed to make sure he didn't go too far too fast. 

"Then-Then what about everything he said? That-That he cared about me when no one else did? That no one came to see me because they hated me?" Tommy asked in disbelief. 

"He was lying to you, Toms. He lied to you and tricked you into thinking we don't care about you," Phil answered honestly. "He stopped Wilbur from delivering those invitations to everyone. He tried to make a divide between you and Ranboo by stealing the letters he wrote you. He didn't let Tubbo come see you. Dream isn't your friend. He isn't good for you. He's trying to keep you in line so no one challenges his power again." 

Tommy opened and closed his mouth multiple times, reaching for something to say and finding nothing. He wrapped his arms around himself, digging his nails into his skin. He whispered, "He was watching me. He never cared. He-He only wants me to stop being a pain in his ass." 

"That's it," Phil said softly. He moved slowly, slipping his hands into Tommy's and holding them tight. "Tommy, can you promise me something?"

Tommy looked up at him, eyes watery, and nodded.

"Can you promise me to never let that fire in you go out? We need people like you in the world. We need people like you to challenge the people like Dream." 

He inhaled sharply, and Phil expected it when he started to cry. He let Tommy pull his hands away to wipe at the tears falling down his cheeks. 

"Yeah," Tommy hiccuped, "yeah, I promise." 

Tommy was hot, much too hot when Phil held him to his chest. His fever seemed like it was worsening, and the night's events were no help. Phil gently rubbed circles into Tommy's back, attempting to calm him down in any way possible. Tommy quickly ran out of energy, and became silent at Phil's side. Phil pulled out his communicator and sent a quick message to Techno. 

"Phil," Tommy started quietly, "will I be okay?"

Phil paused. "Not right away. It's going to be hard to get better, Tommy, but Techno and I will be here every step of the way. I can promise you that. You will be okay." 

The door flew open suddenly and Techno strode inside, Ranboo following right on his heels. Tommy sat up, messily rubbing at his eyes to try and hide the fact he'd been crying. Techno had one of his health potions gripped tightly in his hand, making an odd wave of relief wash over Phil. 

"How're you feelin', Tommy?" Techno asked, taking Tommy's hand as it was reached out to him. 

"Like shit," Tommy grumbled. 

"I can tell," Techno droned. He pressed the back of his hand against Tommy's forehead and frowned. He scooped the health potion from where he'd sat it on the side table. "You need to rest or you're just gonna get more sick. You need to drink all of this before that, though." 

Tommy nodded complacently. He took the potion from Techno once he uncorked it and downed it. He made a noise of disgust as he handed back the bottle. Despite their bright pink coloration, health potions did not taste like bubblegum. Tommy curled up into his blankets, releasing a shaky breath. Phil watched him close his eyes, and he couldn't resist the urge to run a hand through his hair. Tommy leaned into the touch, and Phil could hardly believe his heart could melt more. 

Techno gently ruffled Tommy's hair. "Sleep well, Toms."

It was strange, their semblance of family. Phil knew absolutely none of it was normal, but it worked. They cared for each other, even if the way they showed it was scuffed. At the end of the day, they always knew they were a family. He didn't think he'd change it for the world. 

Techno left first, muttering about supplies and plans. Phil could tell he was too restless to sit and watch his brother be sick and not be able to help. Once he was sure Tommy was asleep, Phil got up to leave. He cast a glance at Ranboo, almost asking if he was coming, but shut his mouth and smiled at what he saw. The boy was asleep, head in his hand, in the plush chair in the corner. Phil retrieved a blanket from the living room to toss over him before closing the door on the two sleeping teens. 

Maybe things weren't looking so good right now, but they were making progress. Phil was ready to be a father. Techno was ready to fight for his brother's sake. Tommy was safe. He wasn't the same Tommy Phil thought he was, but they could help make his life better. And no matter what his youngest son thought, he had a true friend in Ranboo. Phil had to admit, he wouldn't mind looking after someone new. Seeing what Dream was able to do with Tommy, he didn't want to know what was possible with someone like Ranboo. 

The snow continued to fall across the tundra. The land was empty and cold, the world beyond it even more unforgiving. That world had taken so much from Phil, but it wasn't too late to give it a second chance. He had what mattered, and that's all he needed. Tomorrow would be a new day. They could start from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how are we feeling in this chili's tonight??
> 
> (in pain. spain without the s)

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate any and all comments/kudos/bookmarks you choose to leave! 
> 
> You can follow my [tumblr](https://quibbels.tumblr.com/) for fic updates and my [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/quiblii) to see more stuff from me!


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